Why Am I Enthralled with this Stupid Video?

Do you ever get a song stuck in your head? Well, this stupid but hilarious song has been stuck in my head for over a week. I seem to be on some sort of subconscious quest to memorize all the words. I find myself going back to it again and again. When I can't remember which animal goes "Ow, ow, ow," I simply must listen to it and find out. It leaves me wondering just what is so brilliant about this song. The simplicity? The ability of the performer to deliver such outrageous lyrics with such sincerity? The multi-generational appeal? The high quality of the video juxtaposed with the absurdity of the song?

Is there some secret here that I can glean and infuse into my own writing?

Watch the video and help me figure this out. Please!

 

Goin' Back to Church???

Last week was "National Back to Church Sunday." It got me thinking. What does back to church mean to you? How does it feel deep inside when you hear those words: back to church? Most of us know those people who claim to love God, to even have accepted Jesus as their savior, but who want nothing to do with church. Heck, maybe you are one of those people. Maybe the idea of church fills you with latent pain. Maybe with anxiety. Maybe you picture walking in the door and being judged. Maybe bitterness wells up inside of you as you recall all the hypocrites you've dealt with at church. Maybe you just want to lay low and avoid the drama.

And little wonder. The church is full of wounded, messed-up people. 

People not so different from you and me.

But the church is also the expression on earth of the body of Christ. And it is through that body that we can experience the fullness of Christ. The church helps us grow in maturity, in the word, and in relationship with God. The church gives us a place to minister and be ministered to. It joins us together with a group believers so that we can increase our impact in outreach to others. And it gives us a place where we can worship in a group and experience God in different ways than we do when we are alone.

So how do we find a good church? Not a perfect church of course, because that doesn't exist. But a relatively healthy church where we can grow and thrive. Here are my top tips.

1) Find a church that exudes love and acceptance

2) Find a church that focuses on Biblical teaching

3) Find a church with a culture that fits you

A culture? Aren't we talking about church? Didn't I already define the "culture" in the word "Biblical?" Actually, no. Not at all. Much of what legalistic churches try to promote as scriptural requirements for worship are really more about culture and personality than holiness. The truth is, healthy Bible-based churches come in all shapes and sizes.

There are big churches, small churches, contemporary churches, traditional churches, casual churches, and fancy churches. There are simple, cozy churches and flashy, high-tech churches. There are biker churches and cowboy churches. Messianic and Mennonite churches. And don't even get me started on music. Church music comes in about every style. Chants, hymns, gospel, country, pop, and heavy-metal, just to name a few.

These days the under forty crowd often has difficulty fitting in at a fundamentalist church that is stuck in the 1960s. But they might really enjoy a casual, seeker-friendly church with an emphasis on the arts and social justice. Or they might be drawn to the seemingly complete opposite, a high liturgical church that focuses on the wonder, mystery, and awe of encountering the divine. 

My guess is, if you don't like church, you just haven't met the right one.

Maybe you think that I'm being rather glib about this whole issue. After all, there are only two churches within a half-hour drive of your house, and you wouldn't be caught dead in either of them (well, okay, maybe dead, but that's the only way.)

Try some youth group style bonding games
 if you're brave

Here's a thought. Start a small gathering of believers in your home. Despite the lovely picture above, the Bible never says a church has to meet in a building with a steeple. There are no requirements that they feature a trained worship band or a prepared sermon. Try the early church method. Have a meal and some fellowship (i.e. hang out and have fun). Allow time for sharing and prayer. Et voila. Church. And considering the fact that the "sabbath" was actually Saturday, I don't even think you necessarily have to meet on Sunday.

Church is us. It's you and me together. It's simple really. We encourage and uplift each other. We support one another in this Christian walk. And when you think of it that way, I think you'll be happy to go "Back to Church." 

My new novel coming out later this fall, Dance from Deep Within, examines the issues of church cultures, wounded believers, and what sort of Christianity is relevant to change our world today. Keep an eye out for it. 

In the meantime, here's an awesome and highly entertaining video to illustrate what I'm talking about.

Describe your dream church? What sort of culture would best fit you? Does your current church fit you? If not, do you have a different reason for staying there?

A New Interview with....well, Me!

My friend Allison recently interviewed me for her blog http://thebudgetmaven.com/. She had some really unique and fun questions, as well as a giveaway, which is still going on. So without further ado, I give you Allison and me...

A lost fortune, a scandalous past, and a broken heart. It’s the perfect storm for former belle of the ball, Constance Cavendish. Now broke, Constance is forced to work for the same man who jilted her years before in order to provide for her family. Like Gossip Girl in petticoats, Love in Three-Quarter Time delivers all the drama, romance, and poignancy readers have come to expect from author, Dina Sleiman. Dina joins us today on The Budget Maven to discuss the writing process, her feisty characters, and her upcoming contemporary novel.

Both Love in Three-Quarter Time and your debut novel, Dance of the Dandelion, feature female characters who are fiery, passionate, and free-spirited despite living in a time period when these qualities were seen as quite scandalous. Did you find it hard to navigate these characters around their more demure cultural standards?

That’s an interesting question. I personally get tired of bland vanilla heroines quickly. InDance of the Dandelion, the main character was a peasant, and therefore not expected to live up to all the cultural niceties. In addition, the medieval period was a lustier and grittier time. However, when I switched to a society girl in the Regency Era, I knew the expectations would be different, and so I played with that. Here is a girl who thinks her fiery nature got her into trouble, and so she is repressing it in the beginning of the book. Much of the story is about her finding her true self again and learning to direct those passions toward God. I think that many young Christian women today, especially in more conservative denominations, still deal with the same struggle of thinking they have to repress their true God-given natures. That’s just not true.

Going into Love in Three-Quarter Time what was the research process like?

From a research stance, this was probably the easiest book I’ve written so far. I knew a lot about American history already, and there was plenty of information available about Virginia in the 1800s. The medievals are much harder, and even my contemporary novel required a lot of research into cultural topics and current events. I took a research trip to Charlottesville and Monticello to nail down some of the final details. It was a pleasant three-hour drive from my house, and I really enjoyed it. The area was just how I pictured it in my head. I found a plantation house called Birdwood Pavilion similar to my White Willow Hall exactly where I needed it.

Were there any surprises for your characters that you didn’t see coming initially?

Usually pretty early on in the process I can see the book through clearly until the end, then it is just a matter of trying to type down everything in my head before I lose it. But the minor characters tend to surprise me by really coming alive during the writing process. Sissy and Martha, two young slave women in the book, were characters that caught me off guard by how real they became and how much they added to the story. And Mrs. Beaumont and the twins turned out to be much funnier than I anticipated.

What three songs would be at the top of Constance’s iPod playlist if she taught dance today?

Hmm…I think if she taught dance today she’d probably like cutting-edge music. Think about it, waltz was very cutting-edge in its day. Beyond that, I guess it would depend on whether this is Constance at the beginning or the end of the book. By the end of the book, I think she’d like some cool but spiritual Christian rock. Something with a driving beat like she danced to at the Indian village. So maybe “Lost in You” by Red, “All Around Me” by Flyleaf, and “Never Alone” by BarlowGirl.

Which of your Love in Three-Quarter Time characters are you most like?

I’m kind of a mix of Constance and her sister Patience. I relate with Constance in her love of dance, nature, and that passionate part of her personality. But I also relate with Patience’s academic and scientific side. Overall, I think the Constance at the end of the novel is pretty similar to me, except that I’m not as outgoing as Constance.

For other writers out there, how did the process for writing this book differ from the process for writing your first novel, Dance of the Dandelion?

Love in Three-Quarter Time is the third of four novels I’ve written. And it was the only one I wrote during National Novel Writing Month. I had a solid first draft done in six weeks. I loved just spilling the words on the page without much thought to editing. That process worked really well for me. I hoped I could repeat it with novel number four, but because I kept stopping to edit and write the proposal and synopsis and what not, my creative juices got stopped up a few times along the way, and it ended up taking over four months.

How do you develop such distinct, realistic personalities in your male characters without making them stereotypes? 

I actually have a secret for that. At first I have to wait for the characters to sort of pop to life in my head so that I can get to know them. Once they do, I assign them a Myers-Briggs personality type. For the rest of the book, I use that type to keep them on track. It’s especially helpful for a book like this with three men who have points of view. This way I’m able to keep each one distinct.

What would Constance order at Starbucks?

Something spicy for sure and fun. I’m thinking a cappuccino with pumpkin spice or peppermint flavoring.

One of the many things I love about your novels is the way you so organically weave aspects of faith into your storylines without being preachy or corny. Is that a conscious choice you make as you write each scene, or is it something that just sort of happens?

I have a theory that the more realistic your characters are, the more they have flaws and the more they struggle, the more you earn the right to include a strong spiritual message. I also focus on making the message about an authentic relationship with God and not about morality or religiosity. In this book I actually have Constance studying the Bible for the first time in her life. I wasn’t sure how that would work, but I think her honest struggles and questions with the text ended up really bringing it to life. And I have a lengthy spiritual discussion between her and Lorimer. I was waiting for an editor to tell me to cut it, but I think the unexpected turns in the conversation kept it fresh and vibrant.

If Dandelion Dering (from Dance of the Dandelion) were to meet Constance Cavendish (from Love in Three-Quarter Time), would they get along? What advice would Dandy give to Constance?

Ha ha! That’s an awesome question. I would have to say it would depend on which points in their journeys they met. If they were both fifteen, they would have hated each other. Dandelion would have been painfully jealous of Constance’s pampered lifestyle. She would have related with Constance’s slaves and resented her. Constance on the other hand, would have disdained the grubby peasant girl and been threatened by Dandelion’s beauty. But, by the end of their journeys in their twenties, they would have become fast friends. They would have seen true followers of Christ with similar passionate hearts and a shared love of beauty, music, dance, and nature.

Tell us about your newest project.

My new novel coming out in November will be something really different. It was actually the second book I wrote, and the subject is very close to my heart. Dance from Deep Within is a contemporary novel about three returning college students who meet over a project and become fast friends. They come from vastly different cultures: a veiled Muslim woman, a blonde Christian ballerina, and a bi-racial hippie chick. My husband is from the Middle East, and I always wanted to write a story about a Muslim girl. After this one, I’ll probably be returning to my historical roots with a young adult medieval novel.

A big thank you to Dina for stopping by The Budget Maven today. One lucky reader will win their very own ebook copy of Love in Three-Quarter Time. All you have to do is follow Dina on Facebook, twitter, or Pinterest. Just make sure to comment (on Allison's original post, click here ) that you’ve done so (extra entries if you do all three)…and feel free to ask Dina any questions or leave her a nice comment below as well. **Giveaway will be open until Sunday, September 22nd, 2013. Winner announced Monday, September 23rd, 2013.**

Top Recommendation - Memory's Door!

Early this year I decided "Soul's Gate" by James Rubart is my new favorite novel. Now that I've read Memory's Door, Book 2 in the Wellspring series, I can say that the series is now my favorite as well. What would be very hard would be choosing between these books. Book 1 struck me as brilliant, largely because it was so different than anything I've ever read before--closest I could describe it would be the Frank Peretti books but with a fresh, contemporary twist--but book two stands on its own and has powerful and unique qualities as well. It is an incredible follow-up to book 1, but can also be enjoyed as a stand alone novel.

One might consider this book a spiritual allegory, but I think it would be better to explain it as a book that takes spiritual realities and puts them into words and pictures that we can understand with our limited human senses. As a person who is open to spiritual experiences, I would say that many of the descriptions accurately capture, as best as one can with our limited vocabulary, aspects of the spiritual realm.

Jim's passion is bringing people to freedom. Book 1 in this series focused on inner healing and growing in awareness of the spiritual dimension, but book 2 takes a closer look at two specific areas: freedom from regrets and from religiosity. The religiosity aspect especially tickled me. I feel like I have found freedom in this area, and yet it still tries to sneak up on me at times, not to mention, we can all become more free in this area. Jim's depiction of religiosity actually made me giggle in delight at times, because it was such an affirmation of what I should leave behind and what it truly means to be a believer. And let me mention without spoiling anything, that I absolutely loved who "the wolf"' turned out to be.

Jim's writing is fresh and clean and keeps you quickly turning pages. Then, when you least expect it, he hits you with a gorgeous description or unique perspective that truly causes the book to shine. This is a perfect example of what some are calling "life-changing" or "transformational" fiction. It is sure to touch your heart and effect you in a significant way. Little wonder book one took the 2013 Christy Award for visionary fiction. I can't wait for the next installment coming May 2014. 

If you'd like to read my full review of Soul's Gate, click here. And to watch the amazing trailer for Memory's Door I featured last week, click here.

What is the most life changing book you've ever read? If you could only choose one book or series to recommend to everyone you know, what would it be?

Excited About Sequels!

This week I received in the mail a much anticipated sequel. But let's look back for a minute to January when I took the bold step of declaring Soul's Gate by James Rubart my new all-time favorite novel (The Christy Awards apparently agreed it was great, because it won its category). Months later, I am more than willing to stand by that statement. You can see my review of Soul's Gate here. At the end of the review I actually went so far as to say this, "Honestly, I'd much rather you read this novel than one of mine." And I'm still willing to stand by that statement as well. (Although I'd really like it if you'd read mine too ;) The reason being, I think the best fiction challenges you and truly affects your life, and Jim's books are guaranteed to do that while taking your on a thrilling journey you will never forget.

So when Jim mentioned on facebook that he was looking for people to help him spread the word about his sequel, Memory's Door, I jumped right on that opportunity. This week I received my shiny new copy with glee. I'm about halfway through it, and I am not in the least bit disappointed. Although I didn't rush through it in a twenty-four hour read-a-thon, it is because there is too much to be savored and mulled over. It is as enthralling as the first book of the series, and jam-packed with spiritual insight.

Why don't I let Jim tell you a little bit about his series himself?

 

I'll be back next week with my official review of Memory's Door. In the meantime, if you haven't read Soul's Gate yet, (what in the heck are you waiting for?!?!) I highly suggest you get started there. While each book in this series contains a complete story and can stand alone, you will enjoy them best and be able to better appreciate the subtle nuances if you read them in order.

To Homeschool or Not to Homeschool

I originally posted this article in 2010 on Inkwell Inspirations. It received great response and lots of shares because every parent wants to do what is best for their children. They just aren't always sure what that is. So I think this article deserves to be re-posted from time to time.

With the beginning of the school year, as is so often the case these days in Christian circles, parents all around me are agonizing over their decisions to homeschool or not to homeschool. Homeschooling is a great thing and a growing trend. However, in response to that positive trend, I’ve noticed people homeschooling their children for the wrong sort of reasons, and as someone who has worked in education, this causes me great concern. Perhaps the word homeschooling brings to mind multilingual 3rd graders doing calculus for fun, but it rarely turns out that way.

I sent my children to Christian school for three years, I homeschooled for five, and now my children are about to enter their seventh (oldest is in college now) year of public school. So, I have seen the pros and cons of all the choices. That’s exactly what it comes down to. Pros and cons. Each system of education has advantages and disadvantages. No one should feel pressured by anyone else into making a choice that doesn’t fit their family. I firmly believe that schooling decisions should be made year by year and child by child according to the leading and direction of the Holy Spirit. However, if you are struggling with your choice, I’ve put together some checklists that might help you discern God’s will in this area.

Good Reasons to Homeschool
1. Peace and faith that God is calling you to homeschool
2. More quality time with your children
3. Flexible schedule and relaxed educational environment
4. Individualized educations for your children
5. You love to teach
6. Your child is involved in a time consuming extra-curricular activity
7. Making relationships with other homeschoolers
8. A chance to help your children grow in the Lord
9. The cost of private school in your area is excessive
10. Your area’s public schools are particularly dangerous or blatantly promoting an ungodly agenda

Bad Reasons to Homeschool
1. Fear for your child’s safety
2. Fear of the financial pressure of private school
3. Fear of the “liberal agenda”
4. Desire to shelter your children
5. Desire to be the only influence in your child’s life
6. Pressure from church, family, or even spouse
7. You think it will fix your relationship problems with your children
8. You will feel guilty if you don’t
9. You don’t really see the need for so much education, especially for girls
10. Desire to impress others with your self-sacrifice

Good Reasons Not to Homeschool
1. God is not calling you to homeschool
2. You have peace and faith about a different choice
3. You can not adequately meet your child’s needs at home
4. Your child desires more socialization
5. There is no homeschool community and support system in your area
6. Your child needs special education or advanced opportunities
7. Your child needs a structured environment or experienced teacher
8. God’s calling on your life conflicts with homeschooling
9. You have great public schools in your area
10. You have great Christian schools in your area and God has provided the finances or the faith that he will supply the finances

Here’s what it comes down to: the Bible says whatever is not of faith is sin. If your decision for this school year has been based on fear, guilt, pressure, laziness, or pride—it’s sin. Turn back now while you still can!!! If your decision for this school year has been made based on faith, love, and hope, then proceed with confidence that God will supply your needs, and that where you are weak, he will be strong.

Yes, there are specific school districts that are truly dangerous, or that  purposefully promote an ungodly agenda, but these are few and far between. At the end of the day, the vast majority of teachers, principals, and administrators in this nation place the well-being and education of their students as their first priority. And where they might have weaknesses, God’s strength can see your children through. Homeschooling should be a lifestyle choice and a response to God’s individual call for you and your children for that specific school year, not a theology or political agenda.

If you do decide to homeschool, for the love of all that’s holy, do a good job at it! Your child should receive an equal or better education at home than they would in the public school system. Otherwise, you are withholding opportunities from them that they deserve. No matter your personality or the personalities of your children, God can give you the wisdom to be a good homeschool parent. And he will do so, and give you strength in your weakness, if this is something he has called you to do.

And remember, while your children should be your first priority, you should also give consideration to your own health, well-being, and calling. You are just as precious in God’s sight as your children. If you are depressed, unfulfilled, or overwhelmed, not only will you not be a good homeschooler, you won’t be a good mother or wife either. So ultimately, you are serving your children’s best interest by taking good care of yourself.

I loved my homeschooling years, until I didn’t anymore. I felt called to homeschool for a time. When that season was over, I put my children into public school with faith. Our experiences have been great. My children loved homeschooling during that time, and now they love public school. As I mentioned, the two oldest even went to Christian school for a season and loved that as well.

And so, let me close with a list of tips that will allow your children to succeed wherever God might call them.
1. Plead the blood of Jesus and angelic protection over your family daily
2. Pray that your children will be salt and light in a dark world
3. Teach your children to always be a blessing and encouragement to their teachers and friends
4. Teach your children to see the best in others and not be easily offended
5. Teach your children to extend God’s love to everyone
6. Teach your children that while we respect the beliefs of others, God’s word is our personal standard for truth
7. Make time each day to disciple your children in the word of God
8. Take ultimate responsibility for your children’s education
9. Encourage each of your children to be the individual God created them to be
10. Nurture the unique gifts and callings God has given your children

Any thoughts on homeschool, public school, or Christian school?

The Next Target

Last week my family spent over 40 hours in our mini-van driving my daughter to college in Oklahoma. Needless to say, we needed some good entertainment to keep us occupied, and we found great entertainment as well as thought-provoking subject matter in Nikki Arana's The Next Target, which (with a little technical know how from my husband) the kindle read to us over the van's speakers.

Here is the official blurb: 

It only took one bullet. Austia's friend and student fell dead. And with a glimpse of a newspaper headline, the young and recently widowed Austia knows more about what happened than the police. From that fatal night, Austia’s secret outreach to the U.S. Muslim community—in the guise of English language classes—becomes a target. Local Muslim extremists set their sights on ending her ministry and even her life. And the women she ministers to will be next.

A thick web of deceit closes in around Austia, and her circle of friends becomes smaller by the day, even as she finally opens herself to the idea of falling in love again. But who can she trust? Facing a spiritual battle that proves more treacherous than it at first seemed, Austia’s convictions are tested to their limits and her heart becomes primed for breaking. She must ask herself: how much she will risk to stay true to her herself, her faith, and to the lives of the women she serves?

What I loved about the book:

It kicked off with a bang--quite literally--and immediately drew us into this world of intrigue. And it gave a very exhaustive and educational view of the complex Muslim world. Austia had an amazing heart for these people. She is a true example of Christ on earth. Only at one brief point did the teaching aspect of the book become a touch heavy handed, but still it remained interesting, and was soon on to more twists and turns.

This book was great for the whole family. It had action, suspense, and romance, all the while dealing with an important issue. Mind you, my youngest family member is eleven, and it would be too violent for younger children. But he often paused from playing his video games to ask us significant questions about the culture and characters that proved the book had his mind working overtime.

Throughout all of this, Nikki provides a thrilling, well-paced story. The ending is full of excitement and will keep you guessing right up until the satisfying conclusion.

Do you know much about Islam? Do you desire to learn more? In addition to Nikki's wonderful novel, don't forget that my women's fiction take on the Muslim culture, Dance from Deep Within, will be coming out with WhiteFire in October, and my music CD about the Muslim people is available now at http://acryforpeace.com.